Looking Up

I haven't gotten the low-down on the situation, but it appears our neighbor's grandchildren and their mother might be living with them. They've been frequent visitors in the past, but now seem to be around every day for the entire day. (Not sure what the school situation is either...) They are an 11 or 12 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. Brianna and Alexander have always enjoyed playing with them, and they seem to be good kids. The girl even takes time out to play with Ethan. I'm thinking of asking her to do some "mother's helper" work for me this summer if she's still around. I'm also impressed with the boy. He seems (from the distance I watch at) to have the right mix of youthful enthusiasm, older kid know-it-all, and big brother affection. Both Brianna and Alexander have significantly improved their basketball games by playing against him!

But now that they are around all the time, I'm thinking more about influence. They've moved beyond basketball and bike riding -- though they still do plenty of both -- to games involving more imagination and dialog. I've not seen anything to cause alarm; quite the contrary. But I'm aware that I don't see everything. I'm also aware that a 15 year old boy could have tremendous influence, for good or ill, on my nearly 7 year old son. I can tell that Alexander looks up to J. and enjoys spending time with him. Today, when I mentioned that J. was outside shooting baskets, Alexander left his computer game immediately to go outside and play. (A minor miracle!)

Our family has been blessed with good older-kid role models for our children. My sister's kids (now middle-schoolers) are wonderful, and the older children in our homeschool group and at our Quaker Meeting are also the kind of people I like to be around. However, this is the first time Brianna and Alexander are developing relationships with older kids that I don't personally know well. Their grandparents are good people, and they seem to be as well, but there is a level of trust and letting go that I'm not yet used to. So for now, I'll keep my eyes open and hope that these neighbor kids will be among the good role models who are showing my own children how to be the kind of kid a little one can look up to.

Random Pictures Just For Fun

Brianna and her friend Wren. The children in First Day School visited the new meetinghouse construction site and posted their hopes and dreams for the new building on the studs, so that they will be there behind the walls for always. (Click here for photos of the building progress.)

Dissecting an owl pellet takes concentration.

Our newest porch residents!
5 day old robins

Who knew a cold fire pit could be so much fun? Ethan looked like a little coal miner.

Below: Fun at the park

Spiritual Liberation and the "O" Word

I spent some time this weekend on a solo Mother's Day Retreat. My family graciously excused me for 24 hours to rejuvenate and relax. Yesterday, I spent some time with Philadelphia Yearly Meeting's Faith and Practice, a sort of "handbook" for Quakers. In the "Advices" section (page 82 of the 2002 edition or here, in section I) I read this:

As death comes to our willfulness, a new life is formed in us, so that we are liberated from distractions and frustrations, from fears, angers and guilts. Thus we are enabled to sense the Inward Light and to follow it's leadings.

I am struck by how I usually get this backwards. I've operated on the assumption that if I could just listen carefully enough to the Inward Light, it would lead me to actions that would rid me of distraction, frustration, fear, etc. In my experience that this does not work very well! I've blamed my own spiritual weakness, or a lack of time to devote to worship. Both of these might indeed be factors, but this passage leads me to consider the possibility that there might be steps I can take even when the Light burns dim within. (Perhaps especially then.)

I suspect this is where the word "obedience" rears it's ugly head. How do I hasten the death of my willfulness? I'm still mulling this over, but I'm pretty sure it will involve obedience of some sort. This could be my fundementalist upbringing showing, but I don't think so.

Like most modern Americans, the word "obedience" has negative connotations for me. In modern usage, it suggests that the benefit of the obedience accrues primarily to the one being obeyed and implies a threat if obedience is not forth-coming. Obedience is what slaves render to masters, children to parents (especially cruel ones), employees to bosses. But in spiritual matters, it must have a more nuanced meaning. What has God to gain from my obedience? Another piece of the "body" (I Corinthians 12) I suppose, but it would seem I myself, and those around me, have much to gain as well. And why would Spirit punish me? Any "punishment" is of my own making -- I miss out on something or end up in an unpleasant situation. So obedience to (with?) the Divine must be of a different character than obedience to masters, parents and bosses.

Obedience with. I like that -- it seems mature and wise. Come to think of it, I obey countless "rules" every day simply because they are wise. I follow many rules in gardening so as to ensure a good harvest; I try to make sure the dishes are done before I go to bed so as not to start the next day two steps behind; I look both ways for cars before I cross the street so as to avoid injury or death. I didn't always know these rules, or understand why they are important. I've killed many a seedling out of ignorance or carelessness. I've learned the law of the dishes the hard way on more than one occasion. Ignorance of it did not excuse me from the consequences! Obedience with Spirit must be like this. No arbitrary laws or lightning bolts. Just putting God at the center of life instead of myself, deciding on faith to trust the rules that decision brings into focus and obeying them. What have I to loose but my distraction, frustration, fear, anger and guilt? If I only loose one off that list, I'll take it! As for a greater ability to sense the Light and follow it's leadings... One thing at a time, I think.

First Haircut

Firmin gave Ethan his first hair cut yesterday. I was worried he'd look too much older, and I'm pleased that the change isn't too drastic. He's still my baby! :o)


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