Not Back to School Day 2009

Keeping the Sabbath

I don't know when the idea of Observing the Sabbath first came to me as something I might consider doing myself. It started as such a gentle nudge that it really seemed to just flit through my head by chance. One of those ideas that, if you notice it at all, you simply smile and shake your head at such an absurdity. But Spirit knows how I operate; I have to build up tolerance to an idea before I can adopt it. Over time, the idea of Sabbath came to me more frequently, first as a novelty, then as a more serious curiosity. When I found myself feeling a lack of "right order" in my life earlier this year, my heart was groomed to hear God's advice to me -- Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.

My head was another story. I often feel pressed for time as it is. It would require compromises and re-arranging some of our routines. Firmin would *never* go for it -- he would think I'd gone 'round the bend -- and I couldn't really do it alone. The thought of even seriously discussing it with him seemed awkward. I'm already a weirder wife than he bargained for, why push the envelope this far? (I must state here that Firmin has been great about walking with me down many "alternative" paths, often enthusiastically. I don't know why I continue to think he's going to balk, but I once again, I did.) Spirit continued to nudge me with increasing force, but I resisted and rationalized and looked for some more reasonable, modern method of ordering my life. Some wonderful idea out of a magazine or someone's blog, maybe.

Then one day Firmin said (not for the first time) that he felt like we had "too much going on". He didn't put it in so many words, but after some discussion it was clear that what he was feeling was the same lack of "right order" that I felt. I tossed off the idea of Sabbath keeping as some silly idea that kept coming into my head lately: "Maybe we need to do something like that, I don't know..." He didn't respond right away and I figured that was the end of that idea. But later in the evening, he came to me and said it was exactly what we needed to do.

So we did it. This past First Day was our first observed Sabbath. We aren't following any particular set of rules, Jewish, Christian, or otherwise. We created our own definition of "work", based on what feels like work to us -- no cooking, yard work, household projects, or shopping. The only housework allowed is picking up after ourselves (and Ethan) as we go along through the day, so as not to create a stressful mess for Monday morning. Dishes were an item of concern for me. I suggested perhaps using paper plates and cups, even though that would not be the most environmentally responsible choice. I was unwilling to face a sink full of dirty dishes first thing on a Monday morning! Firmin had a better solution -- each person would be responsible for their own dishes, either washing them out after using them or putting them in the dishwasher. This worked beautifully and didn't feel like work to anyone. At the end of the day, the only soiled items were one or two serving dishes. We have also decided to forgo commercial activity, either for consumption or entertainment. I am abstaining from the computer, though I have not imposed that discipline on the kids -- not yet, anyway.

Our guide-words are Faith, Family, Friends and Community. We attend Quaker Meeting this day, and in addition, I am spending part of the day in devotional reading and/or prayer. Our time spent not working is to be spent with each other or friends and extended family in peaceful and relaxed companionship rather than hurried "doing". We do allow ourselves to drive, as this facilitates our ability to worship with Friends and to spend time with loved ones outside our immediate family. I'm sure questions will come up of "should we or shouldn't we". The guide-words are designed to help us keep the Spirit of our Sabbath as we formulate the rules and exceptions.

I loved our first Sabbath. Here are some insights, observations and surprises:

- I was surprised how the prospect of keeping Sabbath on First Day made Saturday so much more intentional. I had to prepare to do no work the next day, which meant I wanted the house reasonably clean and a meal ready to eat. With this goal in mind, the process of readying our house for Sabbath was quick and pleasant. I was cleaning for the purpose of taking a day off, not because it was simply drudgery that needed to be done. I hope this effect does not wear off over time!

-- Importantly, (important enough to give this it's own bullet point), preparation for the Sabbath was a shared purpose for me and Firmin, so even as we worked independently on tasks that needed to be done, we were working together toward our goal. The children pitched in, their attitude helped by the knowledge that had a completely chore-free day ahead. This made Saturday a family day in a different but still powerful way.

- I found that refraining from work felt sooo self-indulgent! I almost feel like it can't count as a spiritual discipline because it was so luxurious! But Jesus did say that Sabbath was made for humans, not humans for the Sabbath, so I guess it's O.K. for it to be enjoyable!

- I realized how often I say "I should..." to myself. Many times throughout the day, it occurred to me that if I weren't keeping Sabbath, I would feel like I should be doing something productive. But since I couldn't, I was able to turn back to my book or crossword or game with Ethan without guilt and enjoy it that much more.

- In addition to Saturday being more intentional, my movements about the house on First Day were more intentional as well. I did far more picking up as I went along than on a typical day. I was aware of not creating a situation that would require a concentrated period of "work", which would then have to be put off until Monday. Of course I had no where to run off to and no other pressing task to take priority, but I'm hoping the habit of seeing small needs and meeting them in the moment is one that takes hold in the rest of my week.

- I jumped up from my seat far less often.

- My mind felt more calm than usual.

- We were all very nice to each other. Not that we are usually mean, but we were exceptionally nice on First Day.

- I now feel compelled to call Sunday "First Day" as a symbolic way to make my Sabbath practice tie in with my Quaker practice.*

- BIG surprise and too perfect to be coincidence: On Saturday, I had lunch with an old friend from high school, whom I have only recently reconnected with. I mentioned that we were going to begin observing the Sabbath that weekend. She looked at me with wide eyes and said that she and her husband had recently decided to do so as well. Prior to this, I knew *no one* personally who keeps the Sabbath, so this just seemed like Divine validation. Perhaps it seemed so for her too.

We are early in this journey, needless to say. I fully expect to learn many new things as we go along, and I expect there will be situations that challenge our commitment. Perhaps, after a season, we will be led to let the practice go. In any case, I am grateful that I listened (eventually) to this leading and give the thanks to Spirit. After all, it was God's idea, not mine!



*Early Quakers rejected Sabbath-keeping as practiced by the church in England. They felt that everyday life could be lived as sacred if one attended to The Light Within on a daily basis. Sounds good in theory, but personally, I think Sabbath keeping may have been a precious, but abused little baby that got thrown out with the bath water.

Here is a talk given at Pacific Yearly Meeting in 2006 that I found insightful. Here is an article I found just this evening that addresses some of the practical concerns about keeping the Sabbath in our modern world.