"Sunflowers"

Alexander has been calling dandelions "sunflowers" this spring. I've corrected him a couple of times, but I'm going to stop. After the spring we've had, I think he's more right than wrong. What better sign of the return of the summer sun than the dandelion? This afternoon, Firmin will mow the yard for the first time this year. Xander was distraught about it until Firmin promised to leave a little patch of "sunflowers" unmowed.

Update on the seedlings

Six days after replanting, every single seedling looks healthy and strong! What a great kid I've got!

Brianna Saves the Seedlings

Yesterday at about noon, a small disaster struck. The wind was beginning to gust quite strongly, as a spring storm seemed to be blowing in. My mini-greenhouse on the porch had been weighted down on the bottom, but apparently not enough. It blew over with a crash, sending my heart crashing with it. Buried in piles of dirt and overturned flats were 2 - 3 week old tomato, broccoli and parsley seedlings -- all of the plants of those varieties that I had hoped to cultivate this summer. To complicate matters, I had not used flats with individual growing cells. All of the seedlings were growing side by side in one non-divided tray of soil.

I surveyed the mess with dismay. The greenhouse had fallen onto it's front, with the zip-up opening against the floor. Potting soil was everywhere and there was no way to limit the further damage that would be done when the greenhouse was righted again. My husband tried to be optimistic. "They can be replanted. They're all there." I was not so easily comforted. I could only see the trauma of my poor little baby plants, and think about the wasted weeks of germination and growth that must now begin again, delaying the harvest beyond what I had hoped. I mentally checked my seed stock and wondered if I had enough left over. I thought with a hint of bitterness of how much money would be wasted if I needed to buy all my seedlings from someone else rather than using my own (already paid for) seed. "They *can't* be replanted!" I snapped. "This is too much trauma for them -- they won't recover!" The thought of even trying seemed too much. My day was already overloaded with tasks that couldn't wait.

Brianna came out to see what had happened. She had helped plant and care for the seedlings. She was concerned, but calm. She stepped in close to survey the damage. "Mommy, I think we could save most of them. Their roots are still mostly in the soil, so we could put them in those paper pots we made. If we do it right now, they might live!" A few weeks earlier, Brianna and a friend had made seedling pots out of newspaper. I later decided to use the undivided flats instead, but I had not yet disposed of the pots, thinking I might yet find a use for them. Shooting down my husband's optimism had been easy (sorry Sweetie!) but with my child, it was different. She was already taking charge of the situation -- running to get the pots, triaging the seedlings. How could I discourage such initiative? And why should I? Her confidence made me take another, more objective look at the situation. I saw that she might be right.

My husband and Alexander left for preschool, but Brianna and I threw ourselves into the rescue mission. In the end, we re-potted 27 seedlings. We saved many of the tomatoes, a decent fraction of the broccoli, and none of the parsley, which had only *just* germinated and were too tiny to be saved. Time will tell how many of the 27 survive, but as of last night, they were looking quite well. It was a highly satisfying endeavor for us, and a bonding experience as well. I owe Brianna a debt of gratitude for reminding me that things are seldom as bad as they seem in the moments immediately following a mishap. Her sense of optimism about saving the seedlings may have been child-like, but it was not" childish". When it was all over and we were cleaning the dirt from our fingernails, I thanked her. She just gave a small smile, but I could tell she was pleased and proud of herself. I hope she remembers that feeling for a long time. I hope it helps her persevere in future situations. And when she forgets, I hope she has a child in her life who can help her remember.

Two Posts: A Problem and Safety for Homeschoolers

Today, here and there across the country, high schools and colleges were closed or on lockdown due to threats of Virgina Tech-style massacres. I don't know how many, but I heard about four on the news today, and a very quick Google search turned up six more. I'm willing to bet there were quite a few that I didn't find or hear of. How credible those threats are is almost beside the point. The fact remains that a disturbing number of people in our society are ill and/or angry enough to entertain the idea of mass murder. I think we need to focus less on what is wrong with the individuals who commit such acts and focus more on what is going on in our culture. We clearly have a problem.

Possible areas of investigation:
*Mental health treatment and lack thereof
*Bullying, and I don't mean just among school children
*Our consistent appetite for entertainment that appeals to our basest instincts, including graphic and incessant "news" coverage that claims to go "inside the mind of a killer".
*The availability of guns and ammunition at family retail stores with minimal (and apparently faulty) background checks. (The same stores where we can also buy toys and clothes for our children made by other children in sweatshops. Another blog entry, but perhaps not so unrelated.)

I'm sure there are more, but that should be enough to get us started.

******

Whenever school shootings hit the news, homeschoolers are abuzz with relief their kids are safe at home. (I even heard some in this most recent case, which is odd since it happened at a college, and most homeschoolers do aspire to attend college. But I digress...) I have some thoughts about this:

1) It's nice to feel that one's children are safe. I must admit that hearing of all the lockdowns today made me thankful that my kids and I don't have to go through that stress. My children are less likely than most to be murdered in a school shooting, and I'm glad.

2) The idea that homeschooled kids are safer from death is an illusion. (Though a nice one to entertain, as outlined above.) I don't think anyone has gathered the macabre statistics, but I would venture to guess that homeschooling actually puts kids at a greater overall risk for death. Think about it: accidents are the leading cause of death among children in the U.S. -- car accidents and accidents in the home. Where do my children spend 90% of their waking hours? At home or in the car! Statistically, children are relatively safe from death while at school and even when on a schoolbus, so the numbers would seem to favor children who spend 30 - 35 hours a week in school.

3) I don't care. Whether in school or at home, my children are much more likely than not to live to adulthood. Taking that as a given, I believe homeschooling provides them with the best environment in which to learn joyfully and freely. I also believe that homeschooling provides my kids the emotional safety they need to develop a strong sense of self to carry with them into the world. With a healthy self-image and sense of identity, they can interact with diverse people (even bullies if need be), face tough challenges, and make good decisions. Will they do these things perfectly and be 100% happy and successful? If only! But I believe they will be as well equipped as they can be.

So for me, the question of safety involves safeguarding my kids' sense of curiosity, wonder and love of learning. It also includes giving them a safe space to be fully themselves, whether they be with family, with friends, or off alone somewhere. Homeschooling allows me to facilitate a balance of each, according to each child's needs for social interaction and "alone time". It also allows me to protect them from some of the most toxic aspects of our culture for a while longer than I would be able to otherwise.

Physical safety? Well, that's what seat belts, bike helmets, eyes in the back of my head, prayer and luck are for. And if, God forbid, the unthinkable were to occur, I'd be grateful to have had the extra hours of learning, love and togetherness that homeschooling gave us.

Scheduling

I am a Flylady failure. I tried her system on two seperate occassions, and flunked out both times. Someone recommended the Home Management Binder system (*see note), at the heart of which are detailed schedules for each day. Desperate for some order in my life, I gave it a try. I always said I was not a "schedule" type of person. Apparently it's true, and that's exactly why I *need* a schedule to get anything done! I waste inordinate amounts of time when left to my own devices and then wonder why I don't have time for anything. With the schedules, I actually have *more* guilt-free free time than I did when I was always thinking, "I *should* be doing something else right now." I had fallen out of the schedule habit for several months and the chaos crept back slowly but surely. I'm back on track now and glad to be.

Below are some pictures of my binder. In addition to the schedule pages there are sections with frequently used recipes, to-do lists, weekly housekeeping tasks, etc. It really is nice to have everything in one place. Most pages are cased in page protectors so I can make notes on them with dry erase markers. The page protectors also allow me to pull the recipe out and use it in the kitchen without worrying about splatters and such. On the cover are "Guidelines for our Home" which include ideals we would like to live by to make our home a place of simplicity, love and warmth.



Here is today's schedule, for example. Sections in blue are items which include the kids. This makes it easy for Brianna to check the schedule to see what's up for them that day:

MONDAY

7:00 – 7:30 get up, play game with Alexander (and B. if up)
7:30 – 8:00 Make bread dough
8:00 – 8:45 Breakfast – clean up after
8:45 – 9:30 Shower and dress, brush teeth, etc.
9:30 – 10:00 Morning Meeting; Kids pick daily chores to be done before lunch
(Check bread)
10:00 – 10:30 Mommy’s quiet time
(Check bread if necessary)
10:30 – 11:30 Housework time
11:30 – 12:00 Fix lunch & tend to bread (1/2 hour warning on chores if needed)
12:00 – 12:30 Lunch
12:30 Xander leaves for school
12:30 – 3:00 Homeschool time with Brianna (plus library or short errands)
3:00 Pick up Xander
4:00 – 5:00 Make simple dinner and clean kitchen
5:00 – 5:30 Eat dinner
5:30 – 7:15 Brianna’s swimming class
7:30 Bedtime for kids (Poppy?)
8:00 – 10:00 TV time
10:00 Evening Routine
10:30 Get ready for bed
11:00 In bed

You'll notice the lack of computer time on today's schedule. According to the schedule, I should be making a quick dinner right now, but Brianna's swimming class was cancelled, so I have some unexpected free time.

The kids like it too, because they know what to expect. "Morning meeting" is something new that we are trying out, and I tried very hard to keep it at 9:30 every day. (I think there was only one day when it was impossible.) Most days I have exercise scheduled in, which seems to be the only way I can manage to get to it.

Just don't ask me how I'm going to manage this in the fall with a newborn, lol! I may have to take a break for another few months or longer. ;o)

*NOTE* I won't link to the site I got the binder idea from because the basic binder and mother's schedule system are the only parts I can recommend. The woman who runs the site also schedules her children's every move -- down to when it is child X's turn to sit on the sofa and read (Yikes!) -- and believes in training her children like dogs to obey the parent's every command just as she apparently obeys her husband's every command. (I need a barf icon here!) I simply can't in good conscience direct any traffic her way. If anyone wants to know more about the pearls I picked out of that mud, I'd be happy to share via email.

Quickening

Sunday evening, Alexander needed me to sit in his room with him while he fell asleep. He's going through a phase of fear of being alone, so we find ourselves doing this often. With one of us there, he generally falls asleep quickly.

As I sat reading quietly on Sunday in Alexander's room I felt the first unmistakable stirrings of the babe within. I recognized it immediately, even though it has been at least 5 years since I last felt those first flutters of movement. Alexander was asleep by this time, but I remained for a few minutes more, cherishing the soft gentle nudges while they lasted. Historically, this was considered a sacred moment -- the moment the fetus became a person. In spite of all of our knowledge of fetal development, it still feels sacred and significant for me, as it does for most moms, I think.