The Birth Story

I woke in the early morning on Friday feeling kind of nauseous and not-so-good all the way around. Slept a little more, then once I was up for the day, felt O.K. I kept having contractions on and off throughout the day, and I definitely felt like something was going to happen soon -- either that night or the next day. I began to get excited! (Both Brianna and Alexander were induced, so it was fun experiencing the on-set of labor naturally.)

At about 3 pm I lost my mucus plug -- something I've never experienced so dramatically before! The contractions started to get more frequent and noticeable after that, so I started calling people -- Firmin, my mom, the midwife -- to let them know that things were moving along. By 7 PM, we were on our way to the birth center. Contractions slowed down on the way there, which is normal. I got settled in at the BC, listened to one of my hypnosis tapes, then walked around to get things moving again. That did the trick and my labor started picking up nicely.


Brianna and Alexander and my parents came to the birth center with us and stayed the entire time. They watched movies and camped out in sleeping bags in the community room.

I was able to handle the intensifying contractions pretty well with my hypnosis until what was likely the "transition" phase. In contrast to Alexander's birth, where I had my water broken at 5 cm, then dilated to 10 in about 20 minutes, these contractions were spaced a little farther apart. I had a bit of a break between each one in which I was able to relax, but I was starting to have a hard time with the contractions themselves. I was in the birthing tub at this point which felt good, but I think it might have made it harder for me to get comfortable. I remember saying at one point, "This is where I ask for the epidural!" ;o) I was still hours away from giving birth as it turned out. I don't think I would have accomplished a natural childbirth in the hospital this time around with the promise of pain relief just a request away since it took so long. Although it's possible that they would have made me wait since I don't think I said that until I was almost fully dilated. I felt like pushing soon after. (They don't do internal checks for dilation at the birth center unless the mom requests it or there's a medical reason, so I don't know what my dilation was at any given point.)

Apparently, pushing out babies is something I *can* do, but not well. I ultimately needed much more coaching in that phase than they generally give. Turns out I was pushing rather "ineffectually" for quite a while before midwife S. and I decided that she'd better take a stronger hand. I remember that the same thing happened with Alexander, though I got more immediate coaching and the contractions were much closer together, so I only had to push for about a half-hour. Ethan took his sweet time. My contractions were not so closely spaced. I had time to rest between pushes, but it wasn't much relief. I found it SO hard to relax between them.

Once she took more charge, S. had me get out of the water and onto the bed on my side. Relaxing was easier there and she was able to see that I was pulling back in after each push, which was hampering my progress. She was also able to coach me more on each push to make it more effective. More time passed, and more position changes dictated by S. Finally, after nearly 2 1/2 hours of pushing, I ended up on the birthing stool and finally (finally!) felt that ring of fire about 15 minutes later. I hated the crowning with Alexander, but this time it was *so* welcome because it meant it really was OVER! At 3:12 AM, I had my baby and all was well.
I really wish it had been easier and/or shorter, but I can't say I'm disappointed. I'm pretty proud of myself actually. I never would have thought I could endure so much pain for so long and still keep working. I admit to getting pretty discouraged during the long final phase, but I did what I had to do. The fact that billions of women have done it for millenia before me (and often in worse and more dangerous circumstances) diminishes my feelings not one bit. On the contrary, it makes me part of the tribe.

Each child's birth now takes it's place in my story:

Brianna's over-medicated, interventionist birth was nevertheless my unique first -- my induction into motherhood and all it's wonders. Although I grieved the negative aspects of that birth process, the experience changed some of my assumptions about modern "progress" and set me on a journey that has led in surprising and satisfying directions.

Alexander's birth retains it's place as my "best" birth. Although I would rather have not been in the hospital, it was quick, intense, and drug-free (beyond the cervical gel to get labor going.) After Alexander's birth, I felt euphoric -- a high like I've never felt before or since. I also felt physically great. I remember getting up from the bed I delivered in and going to the bathroom almost right away with no trouble.

Ethan's birth was a test of my strength. I was too worn out to feel the same level of euphoria as I did after Alexander's birth, and my physical recovery hasn't been as quick. (Though it's been quicker and easier than after Brianna's birth.) Nevertheless, taken as a whole, I've really enjoyed the experience of carrying and birthing him in the context of our larger family. It was great to have the other kids nearby. I'm grateful they were sleeping through my loudest cries of agony, but it was nice to be able to wake Brianna and have her come in right after he was born. (We let Alexander sleep until morning for fear he wouldn't go *back* to sleep.) Ethan's birth has given me a greater appreciation for what women have accomplished and endured and even suffered in childbirth throughout history. It's a perspective I will cherish. He's also given me new appreciation for my own powers of endurance.

Welcome to the world, little boy. Thanks for completing my birth education; I can't wait to see what else you have to teach me and all of us.

Here are a few more pictures from his first day: