Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Garden and Yard Photos
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Two Year Old Conversation
Ethan (bending over Alexander and looking him right in the face): Okay?
Alexander: I'm fine.
E: Okay?
A: I'm fine.
E: Okay?
A: I'm fine!
E: Okay?
A: I'm fine!
E: Okay?
A: I'm Okay.
E: Okay?
A: Yes.
E: Okay. (He climbs back up for another jump...)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Boston Road Trip Pictures

Best toy ever!
Ethan played with this for almost an hour while Firmin and the other kids watched an OmniMax movie at the Boston Museum of Science
I-93 as it goes under the city.This is the result of The Big Dig, which began when Firmin and I were still living in Boston and is very nearly finished. This is what $14.6 billion dollars looks like!
The more scenic result is the park/greenway below, where the ugly, elevated highway supports used to be. The North End and Downtown seem much more a part of the same city now.
We were walking the Freedom Trail this day. The splash fountians were a big help for the kids who were starting to feel hot and tired! This was one of only 2 warm sunny days while we were there.
Dinner at Granny's restaurant after our day in the city. The couple in the mural above are Firmin's parents. (His dad's head is cut off in this pic!)
Alexander, hamming it up with his cousin Chrismin (nicknamed Caillou), who spent a few days with us at Linda's. The boys had fun together and got along great.
One of the highlights of the trip home was our last pit stop at Cabela's, a *huge* sporting goods store and tourist destination all in one. The kids enjoyed climbing on the big statue of wrestling bears.Friday, July 03, 2009
Back in Town
But I'm back now, with a more leisurely July schedule and some ideas for posts percolating in my head. Stay tuned...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Looking Up
But now that they are around all the time, I'm thinking more about influence. They've moved beyond basketball and bike riding -- though they still do plenty of both -- to games involving more imagination and dialog. I've not seen anything to cause alarm; quite the contrary. But I'm aware that I don't see everything. I'm also aware that a 15 year old boy could have tremendous influence, for good or ill, on my nearly 7 year old son. I can tell that Alexander looks up to J. and enjoys spending time with him. Today, when I mentioned that J. was outside shooting baskets, Alexander left his computer game immediately to go outside and play. (A minor miracle!)
Our family has been blessed with good older-kid role models for our children. My sister's kids (now middle-schoolers) are wonderful, and the older children in our homeschool group and at our Quaker Meeting are also the kind of people I like to be around. However, this is the first time Brianna and Alexander are developing relationships with older kids that I don't personally know well. Their grandparents are good people, and they seem to be as well, but there is a level of trust and letting go that I'm not yet used to. So for now, I'll keep my eyes open and hope that these neighbor kids will be among the good role models who are showing my own children how to be the kind of kid a little one can look up to.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Random Pictures Just For Fun
Monday, May 11, 2009
Spiritual Liberation and the "O" Word
As death comes to our willfulness, a new life is formed in us, so that we are liberated from distractions and frustrations, from fears, angers and guilts. Thus we are enabled to sense the Inward Light and to follow it's leadings.I am struck by how I usually get this backwards. I've operated on the assumption that if I could just listen carefully enough to the Inward Light, it would lead me to actions that would rid me of distraction, frustration, fear, etc. In my experience that this does not work very well! I've blamed my own spiritual weakness, or a lack of time to devote to worship. Both of these might indeed be factors, but this passage leads me to consider the possibility that there might be steps I can take even when the Light burns dim within. (Perhaps especially then.)
I suspect this is where the word "obedience" rears it's ugly head. How do I hasten the death of my willfulness? I'm still mulling this over, but I'm pretty sure it will involve obedience of some sort. This could be my fundementalist upbringing showing, but I don't think so.
Like most modern Americans, the word "obedience" has negative connotations for me. In modern usage, it suggests that the benefit of the obedience accrues primarily to the one being obeyed and implies a threat if obedience is not forth-coming. Obedience is what slaves render to masters, children to parents (especially cruel ones), employees to bosses. But in spiritual matters, it must have a more nuanced meaning. What has God to gain from my obedience? Another piece of the "body" (I Corinthians 12) I suppose, but it would seem I myself, and those around me, have much to gain as well. And why would Spirit punish me? Any "punishment" is of my own making -- I miss out on something or end up in an unpleasant situation. So obedience to (with?) the Divine must be of a different character than obedience to masters, parents and bosses.
Obedience with. I like that -- it seems mature and wise. Come to think of it, I obey countless "rules" every day simply because they are wise. I follow many rules in gardening so as to ensure a good harvest; I try to make sure the dishes are done before I go to bed so as not to start the next day two steps behind; I look both ways for cars before I cross the street so as to avoid injury or death. I didn't always know these rules, or understand why they are important. I've killed many a seedling out of ignorance or carelessness. I've learned the law of the dishes the hard way on more than one occasion. Ignorance of it did not excuse me from the consequences! Obedience with Spirit must be like this. No arbitrary laws or lightning bolts. Just putting God at the center of life instead of myself, deciding on faith to trust the rules that decision brings into focus and obeying them. What have I to loose but my distraction, frustration, fear, anger and guilt? If I only loose one off that list, I'll take it! As for a greater ability to sense the Light and follow it's leadings... One thing at a time, I think.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
First Haircut
Before
After
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Casualty of War
Here are a few passages from the NPR report I heard on the morning of April 21:
Redding says her whole body was visible to the school administrators. She kept her head down so the nurse and the secretary couldn't see her fighting back tears.(snip)
In its brief, the school says the fact that Redding was an honors student who had never been in trouble before is not evidence of good conduct, but only evidence that she had never been caught.
The school views itself as a protector of its students' health and safety, which includes protecting students from both illegal and over-the-counter drugs.
(snip)"Children call their private parts their private parts for a reason. They not subject to exposure, to observation by school officials. When children are strip-searched, they experience trauma that's similar in kind and degree to sexual abuse," says Wolf.
School lawyer Wright counters, "We just have to ask ourselves, as a policy matter, do you really want a drug-free environment? And if you do, then there are going to be some privacy invasions when there is reason to suspect that those drugs are being dispensed on campus, that they're being used by students."
Here's what upsets me about the school's argument:
1) There was no presumption of innocence for Miss Redding. Indeed, the presumption seems to have been that she was guilty. They boldly assert that fact that she was an upstanding student who had never been in trouble only meant that she hadn't been caught. I shudder to think how they would have treated a student with average grades who had been caught passing notes once or twice. Imagine if the adults in your child's school consistently expected the worst from them and their peers, regardless of their previous conduct! Furthermore, do our children loose *all* their civil rights at the school door? I understand the need for some curtailment of rights, however this seems not only ridiculous, but shameful.
2)
"The school views itself as a protector of it's students' health and safety..."Hmmm... Miss Redding suffered both emotional and phsyical harm (ulcers) from the strip search. But they made darn sure she wouldn't harm herself or any one else with ibuprofen pills! This infuriates me. Without a doubt, I would have experienced a strip search at age 13 as akin to a sexual violation. They did NOT protect her from the far greater harm. They inflicted it.
3)
"School lawyer Wright counters, 'We just have to ask ourselves, as a policy matter, do you really want a drug-free environment? And if you do, then there are going to be some privacy invasions...' "Basically, they are arguing that a totally drug-free environment means "nerdy" 13 year old girls -- and thus everyone else -- are subject to strip searches on the flimsiest of accusations. Really on the basis of gossip alone. (Miss Redding was accused by a former friend who, in all-too-common "mean girl" fashion, was eager to prove her break from Miss Redding to her new crowd.) I say no. A totally drug-free environment is not worth that. My high school, a good, middle class, small-town school, was not drug free, but I felt safe there. Even if I had felt threated by some of the drug activity (which I did not; the drug-using kids kept to themselves), imagine how much greater my fear if I were given cause to believe that any whisper said against me could mean I had to take my clothes off in front of the school secretary?
And in case you thought it couldn't be worse, the school's lawyer asserted before the court that even a body cavity search -- a body cavity search! -- would be permissable in this circumstance. I kid you not.
I'm dismayed to read that the justices seemed to be more sympathetic to the school's arguments than to the girl's. Perhaps not surprisingly, only Justice Ginsberg seemed to grasp what kind of impact such an experience could have on a young girl. (It's buried in a long audio clip, but basically she responded to a male justice who insinuated that 13 year olds are often cavalier about nakedness. She chided that maybe 13 year old boys are like that, but 13 year old girls certainly are not!) In any case, the prevailing thinking seemed to be better kids be "embarrassed" than kids get killed. Seems like a stretch to me; we're talking ibuprofen, not anthrax. Even if the drug under suspicion were marijuana, I would want to see a higher level of probable cause for such a search. Drugs like meth, heroin or cocaine get trickier, but is there not room for *some* level of common sense?
I await the courts decision. If they come down on the side of the school, I will be less likely than ever to send my children to school. In any case, I'd have to take a good long look at their drug-enforcement policy, then just hope they don't exercise their "right" to violate my child. Nevertheless, my ability to protect my own children is small comfort in the face of millions of children who will not be so protected should the court decide that an innocent child's emotional well-being is a reasonable sacrifice in the war on drugs.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Snatches
The good news is that I'm ready to begin a re-ordering phase. Perhaps it's the season, or just that I'm tired of always feeling behind. I feel like I do so much in "snatches" these days -- the computer, the kids, household tasks, gardening, errands. It all feels dis-jointed and inadequate. I hope to be able to organize my days such that I spend less of my life in snatches and more of it in full experience. Knowing myself as I do, it's a tall order. But now and then I manage it for a while, and life is so much better when I do. If I succeed, you'll likely see more blog posts and fewer Facebook updates. I like Facebook, but it's like living on snack crackers when you really want to cook and eat a good meal.
Computer time is over now -- gotta put the kids to bed. Wish me luck... and Light.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Girls Will Be Girls
Alexander (age 6) always has a blast -- doesn't matter if his buddies are there or not. He plays with friends, acquaintances and strangers alike. Give most boys a room full of bounce houses, a few beach balls, and space to run and they're set for hours. Ethan (17 mo.) also likes to run and play on the toddler toys that are available.
Brianna (age 8) has not always enjoyed herself so much at this facility. The bouncing and running are fun for about a half-hour, but after that, much depends on who else is there. Yesterday, I'm pleased to say, was a good day for her. Her best friend was there, but that was just the beginning. There was a fairly large cohort of upper-elementary age girls who spent the afternoon in a herd -- sometimes talking, sometimes bouncing, sometimes wandering here and there looking older than they had any right to. (When did Brianna start sauntering?) She's not always comfortable in groups like that, but yesterday she was clearly one of the gang.
On the way home, I observed aloud that she seemed to have had a good time with all those girls. "Yeah" she said in her usual understated way. Then after a beat, she continued: "At about 2:00 we formed a club. It was called the 'Girls Rule, No Boys Allowed Club'." The mature adult mother of two sons in me cringed just a little. But the former third grade girl in me gave a fist pump in the air, and I felt myself smile.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Book Was Better
But, as readers everywhere might predict, it couldn't hold a candle to the books. Not only did the sequence and location of events diverge early on, but it soon became clear that some of our favorite scenes and creatures were left out. No Dwarves, no elves (!!), no Phooka. And no dragon, which meant no arial battle between the dragon and the griffin -- bummer.
As sorry as I am that the movie didn't delight us more, I also feel a smug satisfaction. I love that the experience of huddling together on bed and reading a good book aloud can still trump Hollywood, sophisticated computer effects and all.
Up next: The Tale of Despereaux, which we will start reading tonight. Will we see the movie afterword? Probably, but expectations will be low.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Defending the Faith
"Is that pretty much the same as Mennonites?"
"Well no, not really. Mennonites were around before Quakers."
It never got much less awkward than that. This is a homeschool basketball program which, while open to all homeschoolers, is run by members of the big Christian homeschool group in town. Our faith doesn't quite fit the norm of this group, which is tends to be theologically conservative. I don't mind being different, but I am just getting to know these women. I like them, and I want them to like me. I want them to be comfortable having their kids be friends with my daughter. Ideally, I would would choose to have them know me better before revealing all the details of how our theologies might differ. I would choose to have them see/hear my life speak for my beliefs before my voice. I know from experience that deep, satisfying discussions about faith are possible between friends when there is assurance that the relationship will endure in spite of difference. I don't yet have that assurance with them, thus I was wary. Alas, my reluctance to have this conversation resulted in a weak and probably confusing explanation of Quaker faith and practice.
So it was awkward, but we muddled through. I wasn't the only one feeling the discomfort. One of the women kept saying "Well, we'll all end up in the same place in the end -- we'll all be one big family." I smiled and nodded, but I should have made it more clear how very much I agree with her; I really wish I had. In any case, I believe our nascent friendships survived the incident. For that I am grateful.
I'm left not knowing quite what to do with this experience. Would a more confident and clear description of Quaker theology have served the situation better? I'm not so sure -- it might have sparked debate or defensiveness, which I don't believe we're ready for. Yet I feel a little bad about my halting and awkward comments regarding the Quaker tradition that I respect so greatly. This is a matter for some seasoning I suppose. Something to think about in a quiet time or to bring into the Light of worship.
If anyone is willing to share, I'm curious to hear other people's similar experiences. Not just from Quakers either -- I'm sure people of every faith must find themselves "outed" as the oddball belief from time to time. How have you responded and how did it turn out?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Busy Month
I'll try to get something new up soon! I've had some good ideas, but no time to develop them. Time to think would be a good thing...
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Kinesthetic vs. Auditory in a Nutshell
Alexander: I taught Ethan to throw the basketball! It only took 2 tries.
Brianna: Can he *say* basketball?
A: No. (said with a "duh!" sort of tone)
B: You should teach him to *say* basketball.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Sumo Wrestling
The kids had great fun with it. For a while. Turns out the old saw is true: "It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt." But even so, I think Alexander (the one who got hurt) would say it was worth it. It should be noted that the injury happened when they deviated from acceptable Sumo maneuvers and decided to run their pillow bellies together at top speed. Xander being the lighter of the two, went flying backwards into the wall.
So they got a little Physics lesson too. Ah, homeschooling!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Inward Ringtone
A couple of blocks out, I see a woman pushing a stroller. There is no sidewalk on our busy road, and concern for safety has forced her well off the shoulder, onto the increasingly snow-covered grass. A single blanket covers the child in the stroller from her upper thighs to the top of her head. Only her floral cotton leggings, thin socks and slip-on shoes show. I notice that the legs are longish. The girl must be about four years old. Three if she's tall. The woman holds a cell phone against her ear with one hand as she clumsily maneuvers the stroller along the bumpy ground with the other. I imagine she is calling someone to give her a ride. I hope she is successful; it's a terrible night to be out at all, let alone with a child. I drive on for another block. I wonder how far she has to go. I wonder whom she is calling to help her, and if they will come.
The realization is slow but certain: My warm van with space for the stroller, my non-urgent errand, and my extra booster seat make me the one who is being called to help.
I turn around.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Note to Self:
Weeds, on the other hand seem not to be so picky.
:o(


